How to Neglect Your Spouse


I wrote this post back in late October of 2016.  I was still pregnant at the time and had not yet found out that we had lost our baby, Mary Catherine.  I thought about rewriting it, but I decided to just share it as is.

Life has become busy and hectic.  Travel, kid’s activities, work, household duties: all these things seem to take precedence.

Severe sickness with pregnancy and early bedtimes for me meant little to no conversations with my husband.  This pregnancy that we were so excited to announce months ago had been leading us further apart.  Travel and dual busy work schedules had also been allowed to interfere.

It was 3am.  The house was quiet and the kids were asleep.  We sat in the dark.  I learned that night just how much I had let LIFE push a wedge between me and my husband.  I learned his heart.  I had been neglecting it.

It can be so easy to get into a routine of busyness, todos, activities and chores that we start to become roommates with our spouse and not life partners.  We forget that romance and appreciation for one another that we had when we first met.

I know, I know.  Marriage is hard.  I have been married 15 years and can attest to that. 

Romance is not realistic with kids and life and busyness, right? WRONG!

Why do we allow ourselves to forget?  Because we become comfortable in the status quo.  It is easier to let things stay the same rather than step outside of this comfort zone and challenge ourselves.

That is what we did at 3am that early morning.  We busted that comfort zone and challenged ourselves to NOT be satisfied with the status quo any longer.

I realized that I don’t have to be extravagant in romance or appreciation of my husband.  Just taking the TIME to spend and talk is enough.

TIME! That is what we all want, right? 

Time seems to be the hardest thing to give sometimes when we want to feel accomplished by getting the to do list done.  People need to become more important than things.

Telling him in little ways throughout the day and week that I appreciate the sacrifices he makes for me and our family is important.   Appreciating him for the amazing man he has become is important not just for him but for me as well.  I need to be reminded of how blessed I am to have him in my life.  God gave me my husband as a great gift!

I was treating my gift from God the way my boys treat their legos: thrown on the floor, stepped on and neglected.  That is no way to have a marriage!

I just need to engage in conversation and relationship with my husband daily.  I need to not make our relationship solely about kids and work but about us as individuals.

I did something that I needed to do a month ago.  I went back and reread my SPICE ebook!  This is why I created the ebook, SPICE: A Guide to an Intimate Marriage!  I needed simple, easy to use tools that could help me appreciate the gift I have in my husband and marriage.  

My SPICE ebook is jam-packed with ideas to help you improve your communication today!  Nothing complicated, because who needs that!  I don’t have time for that and I am sure you don’t either!

The best part is the FREE bonus printables that lets you get the conversation started with your spouse! 

If you need a jumpstart to get that spark back in your marriage, join the 7 Day SPICE It UP Challenge!  You will receive daily challenges to help you reconnect with your spouse and improve communication.  And, the best part about the challenge is that it is FREE!  Go HERE to find out more and sign up for the challenge

Don’t let your marriage be neglected.  It is surprisingly easy to do, believe me!  Take the first step today to become closer to your spouse.

First, go here to join the 7 Day SPICE It Up Marriage Challenge beginning February 7, 2017!

Next, go to today and pickup your copy of SPICE: A Guide to an Intimate Marriage with FREE bonus printables!