Learning How to Cherish Your Spouse with a Love List


Valentine’s Day may have passed but I consider the month of February to be the Month of Love.  That is why I am continuing to post ways you can improve your marriage.

We live in a “Me” culture.  It is human nature to be struggle with selfishness.  We naturally seek comfort and pleasure. 

It is ingrained in us at birth.  The good news is that we can challenge ourselves to overcome this selfishness with love.  

Selfishness can easily rear its ugly head in marriage. Husbands can put their own interests and desires ahead of their wife and family.  Wives can complain about all they do for their families.  We can spot selfishness so easily in our spouse while being blind to our own limitations.

Marriage usually does not start off this way.

When we first start dating and are getting to know each other, we think often about our lover.  Our thoughts are consumed with the one we love and are constantly thinking of ways that we can please them and serve them.  We want to make them happy.  We want to make them feel loved.

Unfortunately, this romantic feeling can fade as we enter married life and become consumed with the daily tasks of everyday life.  We have “won” our lover and they are now our spouse.  We can get so used to each other that we forget that romance is still an important part of married life.

We can forget our vows to love, honor and cherish our spouse.  But, these vows are as important now as they were when we said them on our wedding day.

So how do you keep the spark of romance alive in your marriage in the midst of the craziness of life?

One way is for both you and your spouse to create a Love List!

What is a Love List, you may ask?

I was listening to Dr. Greg and Lisa Popcak, authors of multiple marriage books, on the radio this past week, and they were talking about the importance of making sure your spouse feels cherished. 

They talked about the importance of communication within marriage and how it can help keep the spark of romance and love alive in your marriage amidst the craziness of life.

They suggested creating a Love List.  Each spouse writes down some simple things that their husband or wife can do to make them feel cherished. 

I have personally realized the importance of this kind of communication.  If my husband does not know what makes me feel cherished, how can I get upset with him.  Likewise, I need to know what makes him feel loved and appreciated.   That is my vocation as his wife to be an image to Christ and of love to him every day. 

We are two totally different people so our lists will be completely different.  I may have an idea of what think he would want, but that maybe just my personality putting things on him.  That may not be his truth.

By creating a Love List, you offer your spouse a glimpse into your heart.  You gain a deeper intimacy with your spouse and can deepen your love for each other by acting on the list.

It can be a challenging idea to think about cherishing your spouse.   It is definitely countercultural to put another’s needs ahead of your own.  But, that is what we are called to do when we get married.  True love in marriage is putting your spouse’s needs ahead of your own wants and desires. 

I have created a free printable for you and your spouse to complete your own Love List. You can find it here. Take some time to complete it and when you receive your spouse’s Love List, receive it with an open heart.

And make sure you put your love into action!  Do not let the Love List gather dust.  Even if some of the items may be challenging for you and bring you out of your comfort zone.  Do them anyway. 

Remember, we cannot improve and grow without putting ourselves out there.  You will be glad you did!